dickbiscuit | (no subject)

".. North?"

"Yeah, Theta?"

"Do you ever get scared?"

It's a question that, for some reason, he's never expected his AI to ask him. He isn't sure why, exactly, but he can't help the surprise that flickers across his expression as he thinks of a way to answer.

In one word? Yes. But it's never quite that simple.

"We all get scared, sometimes. It's just a part of who we are."

"What do you do when you get scared?"

Ignore it. Push forward. Count to ten and try not to imagine the worst.

North hums quietly. Contemplative. "It .. depends on what's gotten me scared," he starts off, rubbing the edge of his jaw in thought. "Usually, I try to tell myself that there's nothing to be scared of. That it's all in my head.

".. Oh."

He pauses, waits to see if that's the kind of answer Theta is looking for.

"What .. what if you're scared of being alone?"

Oh.

Something in North's heart twists painfully, and he thinks .. he thinks this tiny little fragment is closer to being human that he realizes. "Are you scared of being alone, Theta?"

"It .. it's just that .. I -" His AI stutters, stumbling over his words, and that something in North's heart twists again. Sharper, this time. "I don't want anything to happen to you. Or .. York. Or Delta. Or anyone -"

"Hey, hey .." His voice is soft, comforting, and there's nothing that he wants more than to tell Theta everything is going to be okay.

Everything is going to be okay.

"I'm not going anywhere," he says instead, because it's the only thing he can manage that doesn't sound like a means of superficial comfort. "I promise, okay? I'll always be here."

".. Okay."

The tension in North's shoulders breaks, just enough to count, and he finds he can breathe a little easier. At least, until -

"What brought this on, anyway?"

"Nothing, I - I just worry. I'm sorry, North. I'll try not to be scared."

Again, and again, that something in his chest squeezes his heart so tight that it snatches the breath right from his lungs. "It's all right to be scared - what's important is knowing that you can get past it." He pauses again, waits for his words to sink in. "Okay?"

"Okay."

He's never made a promise that he hasn't been able to keep.

He hopes that this one doesn't end up being the one that he has to break.